It’s been sometime…

Yes it has been sometime, more like 3.5 months since my last post! I can’t really believe, but I still get some trafic almost everyday. What makes you guys click on that name and come to this blog?

I’ve been making myself busy with imaginary important stuff just to keep away from things I love doing! Isn’t that what we all do often. We keep waiting for “this” weekend to start again, but it never comes…

I had to admit to myself that this precious life is too short to wait for the perfect wagon to come, there is always one near by so I am jumping on this one and will have to start enjoying the ride!

When you get fired…

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What do you do when you get fired, hmm…? You finally realise that this job was not for you, you rally hated it and that’s why you couldn’t be good at it. You just thank someone for the occasion that finally you might start looking for something more suitable for you personality. Something might ignite in your lizard brain and this little spark might lead you towards secret dream at least a little bit closer, at least for few days this hidden thought of being adventurer will seem more realistic.

But. Those few days later reality kicks back in and the thought of unpaid bills overwhelms the excitement of the freedom.

Hold on a moment. Why do I have to work so hard and so long just to pay for some unnecessary stuff? Maybe I don’t have to, maybe in such moments it’s time to rethink what is honestly needed and what is just an accessory that we got used to having. Maybe it’s time to declutter! Maybe it’s time to rethink when are we planning to find enough time for our real dreams. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge that soon I might be dead and my dream will dye with me!

Choice is ours!

This is the year of the habits!

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Resolutions don’t work for me so I am trying habits from this January.Change is needed and to get different results different ways must be tried out. I’m giving myself 5-40min everyday of my own time to spend on some exercise. It’s running, gym (after 4years break) or some simple pushups. I also spend at least 5min in the evening on learning speedy typing. February comes and I will have a guitar. Hey this is a big one! Guitar has been on my mind for many many years, but “time was never right for it”.

Well I think there is no right time, it’s either present or the future. Past only slows me down, just some extra weight. I finally had my bad tooth extracted on the last day of last year. I thought it will be so painful, but how surprised was I when there was no pain at all. And then I said to myself if this is nothing, then there are huge amount of other ideas, needs and things that require my attention.

This blog was not supposed to be made of the posts about my discoveries, and me but at least it’s something. At least I start feeling to be alive again. I will be writing more and more. And no one is going to stop me. I don’t ask for attention now – I will get it later. That’s the fun of the journey! Let’s live again! Lets join the life wagon!

If you don’t admit the problem then you can’t fix it. Simples…

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Time to say goodbye to 2011. Things I learned this year:

  •  Improved my career (still looking for more suitable to me)
  •  Visited 5 big countries
  •  Split up with my wonderful girlfriend that lived together for 6.5years (reasons are still blurry)
  •  Finally understood big life lesson (need to admit the problem to move on)

I have been living with my complex for many years. Sometime between 7 and 10 years of age I managed to freeze my nose during winter months. It had become very red. This simply changed my life. My defence was to avoid talking to people not to let my nose stand right in the middle of the conversation. I learned how to make stupid jokes and verbally hurt people just so they leave me alone. I thought it worked. I became outsider. I was always impatiently waiting for summer so the tan on my face would hide the contrast of colours. Loved it. I think that this led me to my bigest dream ‘to live in warm and sunny country”. Just to live there would be fine by me, I would escape my problem. But of course I was very wrong. I can’t run away from it. I still don’t live in this dream country, I’m in England now.

I managed to heal my nose, I am fine with it now, but I didn’t realise that emotional stress was still unrepaired, I am 30 now and lived with the consequences for last 20 years. It had costed me beautiful relationship, because I didn’t know how to open up, how to be vulnerable.

I don’t want to run away no more, it’s time to start living fully content life. Maybe I can still repair what I broke or maybe learn from it and live on. No one knows which way is best, there is only one way that person can go…

I am fully aware that this post is too boring for anyone to read it. I just want to know that I finally managed to open up to the world and be vulnerable, be able to move on, to admit and deal with the problem.

Happy New Year all.

It’s only a half, but…

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… it’s my first half a Marathon. I wasn’t planning it, I only wanted to go for 10mile jog today, but it just happened;) last 4miles were terrible, not just exhausting but almost painful to run. I’ve tried pacing myself out from the beginning and I should say it worked. I don’t usually listen to house music, because it’s a bit too fast for my daily routine, but when it comes to running it’s the best rhythm so far.

I know I thought this blog would be about bad travel experience – I didn’t contact enough people and asked them to share this when – things – go – wrong stuff. I’ve been reading a lot lately about guys who spend years on the road or do micro adventures for a week or 2. Excellent, I want a piece of this too. I’m starting small with my half a Marathon.

My first 10k run!

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I wanted to run London Marathon next year, but there are no more places available. Well I thought there is no point to train this year then.

I run my first 10k today. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I will run my own marathon before next spring comes, I know it will be easy too.

I guess I shouldn’t wait for permission from someone to let me sail the Atlantic one day, I’ll just have to find my own way. It’s my static friction that holds me down, once I start moving and feeling fresh air in my face things change. I’m trying now to keep the momentum. And it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that it’s only me who stands in my way…

“Do you know how old you will be by the time you learn to play the piano? The same age you will be if you don’t”.  Julia Cameron.

Get it out…

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Last Wednesday I happened to be at Scanners Night in London. Great place to spend evening with people who are dying to start their little or big projects, but are stuck on something and not scared to admit it. Just by saying out and sharing our problems in little groups we managed to help each other or recommend someone we know who could help with specifics.

Too much thinking is bad for our skin probably, we need to let the idea see the daylight only then it will start growing, it will start taking shape.

Get up and go!

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Almost a week ago around 140people shared their projects within the 30Day Challenge community. These were magic moments, everybody in high spirits like Christmas come early this year.

Of course as usually what comes up must come down. So no surprise that I was feeling a little low this week due to loss of mine like-minded community support. It’s a bit like leaving home where mum cares about you, gives advice when unsure and encourages when you struggle. I found myself a little confused and lost, but isn’t that the way we all feel sometimes and we must find some other support to keep us going, to put us selves back on track. Life goes on, planet keeps on turning, and time keeps ticking away…

So after a weeks of inactivity it’s time again to look in to ways of finding the thing I love doing, the zone where time seems to be suspended, that something extraordinary that mind can’t live without. However confusing this journey might be I can feel I’m on the right track. I hope you are getting there too!

Keep in touch!

30 Day Challenge!

OK. In the beginning of the 30DC I wanted to blog about peoples bad experiences while on holiday. I contacted Andy&Matt from “The cycle diaries“, who are cycling right now from London to Sydney in aid of “War Child”. Since 30th of August they managed to get to Turkey and here is was Matt has to say about his little trip down the mountain in Montenegro.

Andy and I had to climb high into the sky to make our way out of Trebinje in southern Bosnia to cross into Montenegro. Flying downhill we swung into the middle of the road to avoid herds of wild goats and cows who looked even more confused to see us than the border guard. Minutes passed and still we were falling out of the sky at high speed. This was the best descent of the trip for me. The problem was it was too good and I began to get complacent. Letting my eyes linger a little too long on that beautiful curving coastline when they returned to the road everything began to slow down. As seconds became minutes I realised that I was careering off the road straight into the cliff face. I smashed into the wall of rock but found myself traveling along side it for a time. For some reason I then hopped off the saddle and tried to slow the bike down with my feet. Legs flailing at the floor Flintstone style the next thing I knew the bike was sliding along the ground grinding to a halt. After a moment of confusion I scrapped myself up off the floor and began the damage assessment. A dozen cuts and scrapes; a couple to the bone, a very sore right hand, two torn bags, a pannier lying in the road but by far the most painful was the dent in my pride. What a bloody idiot.

They both managed to get down the hill eventually, found the cheap room for the night with shower to wash the wounds off and then Matt says:

As I was cutting the loose chunks of skin off I realised I had left two of my water bottles at the crash. This may seem inconsequential but in fact these water bottles were great, they carry 1L of water (larger than most!) and they have a cover over the mouth piece preventing dirt from getting into the cap. I wanted them back but this meant a ten mile walk in the dark of night, bloody hell! 

So he walked to the crash site, found the bottles and as he was walking back down: Suddenly out of the pitch black something about the size of my fist flew into my head above my right eye. I felt a sharp pain as if a needle had been stabbed into my skull and snapped off to leave part of it lodged in. I began a tirade of expletives and wondered what the fuck was going on that day! I swatted the UFO (AKA the spider monkey) from my head and waited for the pain to subside. But it didn’t. In fact a few minutes later I felt my lips and nose go numb.

Fortunately some time later he managed to find where they were staying for the night and go to bed. I still have no idea what ‘attacked’ me but I have never had a reaction like that before, Matt says.

This, I think, is real life, real adventures. Those days will never be remembered as boring in fact I think this is what makes the adventure special, this is what makes life special. Don’t settle in the confort zone (ride the bike in the park), but go for big and cycle across the continents without knowing what’s waiting for you ahead. If this is something you dream to do before you die, then why wait, you don’t know what tomorrow might bring to you.